Chapter 5: What She Said When She Thought I Was Asleep
I didn't sleep.
I lay still and kept my breathing even, the way I had learned to do on nights when I could hear things through the floor and didn't want anyone to know I was listening.
Their voices stayed low for a long time.
Then Claire's voice rose once, sharp and sudden, and I heard my name.
Then silence.
Then footsteps on the stairs — one set, lighter than Dad's.
My door opened.
I kept my eyes closed.
Claire stood in the doorway for a moment.
I could feel her there the way you feel a change in temperature.
Then she stepped inside and crossed to the bed and stood over me.
I didn't move.
She leaned down close enough that I could hear her breathing.
And then, very quietly, so quietly it was almost nothing, she said, "You think you've won something."
I kept my eyes closed.
"You haven't," she said.
"You've made things harder for yourself.
That's all."
She straightened up.
I heard her cross back to the door.
"He'll calm down," she said.
"He always does."
The door clicked shut.
I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling and felt something I hadn't expected.
Not fear.
Not relief.
Something colder and more certain than either.
She had just told me exactly what she thought of my father.
He'll calm down.
He always does.
She wasn't worried about what was right.
She was calculating how long she needed to wait.
In the morning, I found Dad at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee he hadn't touched.
He looked like he hadn't slept either.
"She told me I was overreacting," he said, before I could say anything.
"She said the video was taken out of context.
She said Lily has been acting out lately and that I shouldn't put weight on something filmed by a ten-year-old who was looking for attention."
I sat down across from him.
"She said that about Lily?"
"She said Lily has been struggling with the family dynamic and that encouraging her to act against her mother wasn't healthy for anyone." He wrapped both hands around the mug.
"She was very calm when she said it."
"She's always calm."
"I know." He looked up.
"She also said that if I was going to take your word over hers after three years of her running this household, then maybe we needed to speak to someone.
A family counselor.
She suggested it herself."
I didn't say anything.
"That surprised me," he said.
"Until I thought about it."
"She'd control it," I said.
"She'd talk to them first.
She'd have a version ready."
Dad looked at me for a long moment.
"You're twelve," he said.
"How do you know that?"
"Because that's what she does," I said.
"She always gets there first."
He was quiet.
Then he said, "Last night, after you went up, I asked her one question.
Just one.
I asked her why she cut the cake before I arrived when she knew I had specifically asked her to wait."
"What did she say?"
"She said she didn't think I was serious." He paused.
"I've been thinking about that answer all night."
The coffee was still untouched.
"She's going to try to fix this before it becomes something she can't manage," I said.
"I think you're right," Dad said.
"So what are you going to do?"
He looked at the table for a moment.
Then he stood up, picked up the mug, and poured the cold coffee down the sink.
"I'm going to call your aunt Ruth," he said.
I hadn't heard that name in almost three years.
Aunt Ruth was my mother's sister.
After Mum died, Claire had made it clear, in her quiet way, that Ruth's visits made the household unsettled.
There had been no argument about it.
Ruth had simply stopped coming, and I had stopped asking why.
Dad was already picking up his phone.
"Why Aunt Ruth?" I asked.
He looked at me over his shoulder.
"Because she's been asking me for two years if you were all right," he said.
"And I kept telling her yes."
May you like
He dialed.
From upstairs, I heard Claire's bedroom door open.
